The Beauty & Pain of Waiting

I can't believe in 10 days on November 10th I will be Mrs. Paulovkin.

My dream for a husband that loves Jesus with all of his heart and cherishes me will come true next weekend. With that said, I wanted to share a little bit of the journey to get to this day. The beauty and the pain of waiting to be married. I hope this post is an encouragement to those of you who are waiting for something in your life. I have been there and know what it is like to see everyone around have what you dream of having.

It is about learning to be content where you are. In EVERY circumstance Jesus tells us to be content. Philippians 4:11-12 says,

"For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

Kevin and I started dating in 2009 and I was ready to get engaged in 2011 when all my friends were getting engaged. I celebrated with them but still longed to enter into a lifetime commitment with Kevin. In 2012 I went to 12 weddings. I was maid of honor in two of them and a bridesmaid in another. They were so wonderful and I was so thankful to be a part of their time. But I also was ready for my time. Kevin wasn't quite ready to get engaged yet because he graduated college a year after me and wanted to have a job to be able to provide for us.

In the two year waiting time of wanting to be engaged and get married God taught me so much. He taught me that I can't rely on a man for the rest of my life, I need to rely on God to satisfy me. No human being, job, or money will ever be able to satisfy. We were created to enjoy these gifts from God but not to worship them. God taught me that I was putting Kevin first and not my relationship with Christ first.  

So during that two year period, I leaned into Jesus and sought after Him. There were days that it was really hard when I would see another person got engaged on Facebook, but God reminded me that my time would come and He was enough for me. God sharpened me in the time of waiting to love Him first and Kevin second.

Sometimes the waiting was more hard than fun, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Not only did I grow closer to my Savior during that time, but Kevin and I also reached a deeper level of friendship and love for each other. I can say 100% that he is the man for me and that God is going to use us together to do beautiful things.  

One of the verses I clung to during my time of waiting was Ecclesiastes 3:11,

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." 

My mom painted me a rock with this verse on it and it still sits on my desk at Blue Ocean Ideas. It reminds me to be content in each day that God has given me. 

I would encourage you to treat every day as a gift. We will always be waiting for something whether it is waiting for marriage to have sex or as simple as sitting in traffic waiting for the light to turn green. Trust that God has a bigger plan that we can't see but it is a perfect plan even when it might be painful. Those two years of waiting were painful but God had a plan. A plan to bring me closer to Himself and to make this wedding season time even more exciting.  Remember every day that God is faithful and He will deliver on His promises. I can't wait to marry Kevin next weekend and am so thankful that God blessed me with him.

God is faithful. 

Here is a shot from the morning of our engagement. It had poured down rain the day before and normally in Maine when it rains for one day it stays rainy and cloudy for a week. The morning of our engagement my dad took this picture of the sunrise. The sun was bursting in and it made me feel so loved to know that God had picked that day in time that Kevin would propose and He wanted it to be perfect. It was absolutely worth the wait.

A little video from my Dad the morning of the proposal! He showed it to me that night after. So sweet :) I love the scripture he reads in it. That day was only the beginning! Kevin planned the perfect proposal!!

10 DAYS BABE!!! I can't wait to marry you.