Week four of the AGP Marriage Series is all about things we wish we had known our first year of marriage. A lot of these things may seem trivial, but if talked about early on, can change your first year of marriage.
Last week I talked about splitting up duties around the house and communicating about what you enjoy doing and don't enjoy doing. This topic is huge your first year of marriage especially if you didn't live together before you got married. You can read more in the duty calls post!
The number one thing I wish we had done before we got married was take Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. Dave Ramsey teaches you how to dump debt, build wealth, and give like never before. Kevin and I took this class a few months after we got married, but had we taken it before we got married, we probably would have spent less on our honeymoon. We also would have put more money towards getting out of debt. The struggle is real! I will be sharing more about money and budgeting in a few weeks so stay tuned!
I asked a few people who have been married to share their thoughts about things they loved about their wedding and their spouse, and what they wish they had known their first year of marriage. Enjoy!
PATRICK & MAGGIE
How long have you been married?
2 years
What was your favorite part about your wedding?
We loved having 250 of our closest friends and family there celebrating with us. We wished we could have had more! Relationships mean so much to us, and on one of the biggest days of our lives, we wanted those folks alongside us to witnessing our covenant and the becoming of one.
What was one thing you would have changed about your wedding?
Now that we are in the wedding industry ourselves and know way more than we did then, we would have hired other amazing pros to come alongside us for floral design, aesthetics, etc.
How long did you date before you got married?
We dated 3 years to the day before we got married. Our dating anniversary is November 1st, and we got married on the 2nd.
What was your biggest challenge your first year of marriage?
Probably the merging of finances and vision. My husband married me knowing the financial burden I carried, and together we had to decide on our lifestyle, and decide to sacrifice a lot our first year to conquer student loan debt. We worked our tails off and said "no" to lots of normal life stuff. In the midst of that, I was working at a marketing firm and got let go due to a shift in the company. That put a strain on so many things, but made us stronger and more determined to pursue the calling on our lives.
What was one of the best things about your first year of marriage?
Intimacy. To us that is time spent and learning to love each other. Physically, Mentally, Spiritually, etc. Through the hardest things, we found ourselves depending on each other, being vulnerable, and that has kept "the honeymoon" for us even 2 years later.
What is a piece of advice you would give to a couple that just got married?
Accept each other in all the rares forms. Under stress, hurt, fear, and worry, you will see things you didn't see before. Accept them and pray for them because in the end, you want the same thing.
JASON & JULIE
Photo by Katelyn James
How long have you been married?
2.5 years
What was your favorite part about your wedding?
Having all our friends and family there to celebrate with us.
What was one thing you would have changed about your wedding?
The venue.
How long did you date before you got married?
2 years!
What was your biggest challenge your first year of marriage?
Figuring out the finances! Haha
What was one of the best things about your first year of marriage?
Buying a new home and settling in it together and making it our own.
What is a piece of advice you would give to a couple that just got married?
Enjoy it. Take it slow, talk things out (communication!!) and don't assume the worst of anything.
THE BERGMAN FAMILY
How long have you been married?
4.5 years!
What was your favorite part about your wedding?
Saying the vows, dancing, cake, seeing everyone we love!
What was one thing you would have changed about your wedding?
Having a pastor marry us.
How long did you date before you got married?
3 years!
What was your biggest challenge your first year of marriage?
Learning how to be a couple. Since most of our dating relationship was long distance, meshing our lives together was hard. We were both selfish in many ways because all we knew was how to be our own selves. Plus, Jon just moved from his home and I was still in college so I feel like that added extra stress.
What was one of the best things about your first year of marriage?
Being together! We had been apart for so long! We could finally just go to the movies, snuggle, and talk whenever we wanted! And learning many new things about each other since we did not live together before marriage.
What is a piece of advice you would give to a couple that just got married?
Pray often. Listen first. Speak with love and respect. Forgive and ask for forgiveness.
SHAUN & RACHEL
How long have you been married?
15 months
What was your favorite part about your wedding?
No favorite. The entire day beginning to end was even better than we envisioned.
What was one thing you would have changed about your wedding?
Nothing! We loved everything, it was perfectly us and everything was decided upon before the day of the wedding, and everything worked out.
How long did you date before you got married?
4 years
What was your biggest challenge your first year of marriage?
Communication, making time for all the important things and each other, and coping with Rachel's multiple sclerosis.
What was one of the best things about your first year of marriage?
Knowing that we said yes to each other and being overjoyed with our commitment. No wedding planning stress!
What is a piece of advice you would give to a couple that just got married?
Always remember your vows and love you have for your spouse; you said them, you meant them, and they are not to be taken lightly.
To all you newlyweds, take their advice! You want to be able to really enjoy each other your first year of marriage and when conflict arises, deal with it and move on.