I thought that this topic was perfect for ending this series. We have gone through love languages, navigating finances, dating after "I do", relationships with in-laws, love and respect, and how to have hard conversations. In this post, we will hear from a few couples who have been married for 30+ years. They will be sharing their thoughts on how to create a legacy through your marriage. I love this quote that Claudia shared from Peter Ustinov:
I don't have experience in being married for over 30 years, but I am learning how to have a healthy and romantic marriage day by day. The above quote is one thing that rings true at any stage of marriage. Living in a state of humility and having the desire to serve your spouse builds a strong bond in your marriage. Like I have mentioned before, we are not on this earth to live merely for ourselves. We are called to love the Lord and love others.
A few months ago, my grandparents came to visit us for the weekend. My mom and I thought it would be a good idea to interview them to have a piece of their love story reordered to share with their great grandchildren someday. This post was inspired by their interview and made me thankful for their hard work and beautiful knowledge. If any of your grandparents are still alive, I strongly recommend recording them sharing their love story and/or life story. Our grandparents grew up in a very different world then we live in now and having a piece of their legacy to hold on to is precious.
I love what my grandfather says below about taking his grandkids on special trips to teach them about life and build memories. What a sweet tradition! I also think being a positive role model with your marriage to the younger generation is key. Love and respect each other, have fun together, be faithful to one-another, and chase the Lord together.
I am thankful for the advice that the couples below shared on leaving a legacy in your marriage. We can learn so much from those who have lived through things that we haven't experienced yet.
THE LANE FAMILY
How long have you been married?
33 years
How many kids do you have together? How many grandkids if any?
Children: Deenie & Thomas; Grandchildren: Thomas (6 months)
How often do you get to see and spend time with your kids/grandkids?
At least once a week
What legacy or aspects of your marriage do you hope to leave for the next generation in your family?
Trust, faithfulness to each other and to God, and respect.
What piece of advice would you give to a newlywed couple that they can do now to start creating a lifelong marriage and legacy?
Be patient, be kind, hold your words until you think them through, love each other and love God!
What is your favorite thing about your spouse?
Joanne: Tom is a great provider, hard worker and loving father. Tom: Joanne is a hard worker, is kind, patient, and loving.
What is one of your favorite memories together?
Our joint Baptism by our son & the birth of Thomas and Thomas Judson.
The Twist Family
How long have you been married?
46 years in June
How many kids do you have together? How many grandkids if any?
Children: Trevor, Kelsey, Mallory; Grandchildren: Hazel (6) and Lillian (3)
How often do you get to see and spend time with your kids/grandkids?
All my kids live in the area, thankfully and I am blessed to see them frequently; once or twice a week; less during busy times of the year.
What legacy or aspects of your marriage do you hope to leave for the next generation in your family?
God needs to be at the center of your marriage throughout your entire life. I especially like the following quote of Peter Ustinov, "Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit."
What piece of advice would you give to a newlywed couple that they can do now to start creating a lifelong marriage and legacy?
Always keep each other at the top of your "to do" list. Make each other a priority in your life; take good care of each other. Make time to have fun together! There is no need to share your thoughts until you've considered the consequences of doing so.
What is your favorite thing about your spouse?
Joe makes a point of making friends with everyone!! His list is long and he shares with me. He initiates our fin times together.
What is one of your favorite memories together?
Traveling up and down the West Coast with his parents for two weeks. Taking our children to Disney World, then returning as a couple! Very special memories.
The Scott Family
How long have you been married?
46 years in June
How often do you get to see and spend time with your kids/grandkids?
We see them a few times a year. We also did a special thing with each grandkid by taking them on a trip with us when they were 12. It is a special time in their life where they are forming their ideas of the world and of God. Share new experiences and memories together with them and visit often.
What legacy or aspects of your marriage do you hope to leave for the next generation in your family?
Bill: If you know the Lord you already know the most important thing in life. Teaching kids at a young age that loving others and your spouse is the most important thing you will leave behind. Not your money or who you knew, it is who you loved and cared for. Share your faith with your grandkids and read them the Bible, show them the truth of God. Jean: Take time to read books and listen to speakers who can deposit meaningful nuggets of truth in your life that can lead you closer to God. Life is a growing experience and you should never stop growing.
What piece of advice would you give to a newlywed couple that they can do now to start creating a lifelong marriage and legacy?
Know that there will be difficult times. It is important to have a faith and commitment that gets you through those times. Divorce should not be choice - work through the hard times together. Stay close to the Lord and cultivate your own faith outside of your marriage; your own personal relationship with God. Stay true to your faith and don’t fall into all the things the culture is telling you to do or not do. Be faithful to each other. Enjoy being together!
What is your favorite thing about your spouse?
Bill: Jean keeps us in touch with our extended family and direct family. It takes time and effort and I get to ride along to see everyone. That is special to our life to spend time with our family. Jean: He has always allowed me to do the things that make me happy. He is supportive of my teaching, working at the high school, and community bible study. I am thankful for that.
What is one of your favorite memories together?
Bill: Right before our daughter was born we had an alone day and we took a drive to be away from everyone before we went to the hospital. Those kinds of memories bonded us together. Recently, we have been going sailing and it is a blast. Jean: The trip that we took to Switzerland together in the 1980’s staying in a little motel together. It was very special!
Speaking of leaving a legacy, our family celebrated my grandmother's 90th birthday this past weekend in North Carolina! It was beautiful to see her kids, grandkids, and great grandkids all together. Mums was so surprised to see all of us! My favorite part of the party was when Mums made her wish before blowing out her candles. Her wish was that each of us would be able to experience 90 years of life. I love that! Mums, I am so thankful for your kind spirit and beautiful soul. I love you!
Enjoy these few images from Mums's 90th birthday party!
Happy Birthday Mums! Thank you for raising my dad who I love so much. I hope I am just like you when I am 90. I love that your shirt says, "I intend to live forever. So far, so good." You are a gift to the world!